Today is a little personal today, I’m sharing a little of my journal to you as the day has gone on.
Today was a sad day for our family. We are mentally and physically exhausted, since I’ve been at the hospital since 1pm yesterday (it’s currently 7:02am), waiting, watching, praying as my grandma passed from this life to the next. The family slept admist lobby couches, room chairs, grabbing whatever pillows and blankets we could grab. Computers, Ipads, phones, books kept our time, munching on whatever calorie laden snacks would give us some sort of nutrients to get through the next few hours. The extroverts got their mind off the current situation, the introverts tried (but failed) to find a quiet corner away from everyone to bury their head in. Walks outside, shuffles to Starbucks became routine. Snacks ran into dinner, which ran into breakfast which ran into lunch. All awaiting and anticipating the inevitable. Death.
Then in a moment, quite unexpected it happened. The entrance into the other world, the parting of this world. The dying breathing, a gargled breath, and without a word, slip to the other side…….
Family is grieving in their own way. Some, scurry about, getting “things done”. Running coffee errands, contacting family, being “busy” in their own right to get their mind off. Some, tears are streaming, and cries are intense, needing the comfort from the quieter ones, telling the story of the passing to anyone who will listen. Others sit quietly occupying themselves with a book or phone, trying to drown out the world, the noise and the pain.
It is now 8:36. Funeral arrangements are being made. Everyone is coping well enough. Even some jovial conversation can be made. More family arrives. It is good to see everyone, though we all wish it had been under different circumstances. One family member drove 10 hours straight through the night to pay their respects…….
Through all this, the hurry up and wait, the tears, the crying, the dry sleepy eyes, the resting, the eating, the family talks about old memories, the arrangements, the goodbyes, one thing has been clear – there is hope. Nobody has grieved beyond despair. No one has lost hope. All have been at peace. Our grandma is with Jesus, partying right now, why should we be despaired? As a handicap for most of her life, it’s wonderful to image the things she is doing in heaven. Most likely she is getting around faster than anyone us every could. It’s quite funny, she used to have a bumper sticker that said “Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.” If there are guardian angels and they can fly, I bet she’s out running them right now.
I’ve heard that we will know each other in heaven, that are bodies will be US but just 10000x times better. I don’t know if that’s true, since I’ve never been there, but if so, my passionate grandma is having the time of a lifetime. I know that’s ironic to say, but I know it is true. There a whole-lot of excitement and joy where she is that out trumps the best this world could offer. It brings a smile to my face knowing she might be playing with her granddaughter before we did. She always wanted grand kids, and now she is playing with Rachel. . I don’t know much about heaven, but I do know a few things and that is really all I need. She is with Jesus, it’s glorious, and it’s a whole-heck of a lot better than being here. In some ways I’m jealous. She is there hanging out with the King of Kings and I only see in part. Someday it will be my turn, and in the mean time I’ll keep looking through the dim glass to the other side. We love you Mam-ma, save us a spot at the King’s table we will see you soon.